Making Decision

2008-06-16T15:50:00.004+08:00

When we talk about decisions, we know that there are big decisions and small decisions. It doesn't matter if the decisions is big or small, the skill of decision making is what everyone needs to learn. That is because we make decisions every day, big or small. And with every decision that we make, we have to bear the consequences, whether good or bad, because we have to be responsible for all our actions.

Teenagers who know this skill will grow up to be independent, responsible and happy adults. Learning and using a decision-making process will help you grow towards this goal: Making Decisions!
* Learning the skill of making decisions is important for both big and small decisions.
* Be responsible for the decisions you make

Who should make the decision?
Teenagers should make own decisions with adults' help. We agreed that adults should help them in the process, but not actually make the decision for them. This is so teenagers can learn from both mistakes and successes, and grow up to be responsible adults, capable of making their own decisions.

Why should teenagers make their own decisions?
* To learn from both mistakes and successes
* To grow up to be responsible adults
* To be independent in the future and not depend on others to make their decisions

We also suggested that if teenagers are not given the freedom to make their own decisions now, they will not learn how to make their own decisions. So it is important to learn the skill now, so that teenagers will be able to make their own decisions in the future and not depend on others to make their decisions.

The good news is, hard decisions become easier when there is a system for figuring them out. Remember this simple process:

Steps for Decisions-Making:
* Step 1 - Identify the real question or problem
For example, your friend asks you to drink. Is the question to drink or not to drink, or whether you should meet your friend's expectation that you have to do what he or she wants? There may even be more than one question. After you have decided what the real question is, you can move on to the next step.

* Step 2 - Brainstorm options
There are a lot of options out there. Make a list. Write them down. You could also include what you think are bad options, it doesn't really matter at this stage. The chances of coming up with a good solution are not a result of how good each option is, but how many you have to choose from. The more the better.

* Step 3 - Evaluate the options
To evaluate your options, you could ask yourself question like, if I do this, would it be fair? Is it a safe thing to do? Does it fit with my values? Does it avoid hurting myself or others? Will it work? Think of all possible consequences to all your options, then pick the best one.

* Step 4 - Try it!
Finally, try it! But don't expect everything to work out the first time you try it. If you make mistakes, remember that mistakes are the experience you get on the way to success. Decisions are only bad if you keep making the same ones. Everyone deserves a chance to learn, and usually, the best way is through trial and error. Whether you fail or succeed, you learn.

If you really cannot decide and want to let your parents or adults to decide for you, it's ok. The decision to decide, or let someone else decide for you, is still a decision. And you are still responsible for it.

And remember, teenagers who know the decision-making skill will grow up to be independent, responsible and happy adults. Learning and using a decision-making process will help you grow towards this goal.

Let's agree to disagree!!!

Agree to Disagree

2008-06-16T12:56:00.004+08:00

To agree to disagree refers to a situation where people resolve conflict by reaching an agreement whereby both sides tolerate but do not accept the opinions of the other side. This means if I say 'Yes' and you say 'No', and I can't get you to say 'Yes', you can't get me to say 'No', we can just leave it as that. You may agree with me or disagree with me, it doesn't matter who wins in the end of an argument. It also doesn't matter who's right or who's wrong. What is most important, is that we share our views, you say what you want, I say what I want, and we learn from each other.

So you can continue to believe in what you believe in and I continue to believe in what I believe in, but we must keep an open mind about what we believe in and ready to accept that we might be wrong and learn from our mistakes: How to do it?

* Say 'Let's Agree to Disagree" with a smile

* First say what you agree with, then say what you think

Remember that smiling while agreeing to disagree is important. It's not just the words you use, but also your tone of voice, your facial expression, your body language, they must all say that you are really okey with it, not just saying it. Remember, whatever someone look good, it makes you look even better!!!

It's also good manners when you agree to disagree, you show politeness to others, and you show respect towards other people's opinions. You could maintain a civil dialogue and not waste time trying to convince each other when you recognise that these efforts won't work: Don't use it too early!!!

* State your agreements

* State your disagreements

* Decide what you agree and disagree with

* Agree to disagree

We should state both our agreements and disagreements, and only towards the end do we decide what we agree on what we do not agree on. If we cannot find common ground to agree on, we just agree to disagree!

Let's Agree 2 Disagree

Making Decision

Agree to Disagree